If you're unfamiliar with American folkways, the day after Thanksgiving is called "Black Friday," and on this day we're all supposed to go out and buy presents, which we proceed to exchange on Christmas or one of its "ethnic" spin-offs. Tramplings, maimings, and other shopping-related mishaps are commonplace on Black Friday, and so I instead spent the day doing helmetless bike-salmon sprint intervals on the Long Island Expressway since I reasoned it was safer. Still, I was unable to avoid holiday shopping mania completely, because companies love to harness the awesome marketing power of bicycles...