DIY Waterbottle Mounts on the Pashley Roadster

For a while now, the Co-Habitant has been wanting water bottle cages on his Pashley Roadster. I thought the idea was ridiculous, until I received a few comments from male Pashley owners expressing the same desire. I guess men like bottle cages on their bikes, even on a roadster? Fair enough! For those interested, here is the Co-Habitant's DIY solution:

Yes, you are seeing what you think you are seeing: Not one, but two bottle cages mounted on the inside of the handlebars, with twined, flat-capped Kleen Kanteen bottles inside them. The bottle cages are generic bolt-ons that can be found in many bike shops for around $7 (same bottle cages as here). For the Pashley, the Co-Habitant first took them apart, shortened them so that they would not stick out too far past the handlebars (I believe the drill and superglue were used), and bolted them to the handlebars, with the bottles facing inward. Now he has direct access to water, while remaining upright.

Here is the "cockpit view".  And yes, that is a cycling computer you see mounted on the stem, in between the bottle cages. On a Pashley. What can I say, the man has his quirks.

My opinion on this project? I think that if he mounted just one bottle and stopped there, it would have been successful.

With two bottles, I think he went overboard with the eccentricity factor and the bottles look like a pair of missiles. What do you think?

And if you are wondering why he did not just use one of those coffee-cup mounts that are designed for the handlebars, he did not think they were sturdy enough, or accommodating enough of different containers. I agree: These bottle cages are super-stable and the bottles do not budge or vibrate at all inside them. It is a very secure set-up, and the flasks can be filled with coffee as well as water.

While I do not agree with the choice to mount two bottles, I think that otherwise this is an innovative and practical solution. I am now considering installing a similar set-up (with just one bottle though!) on my Pashley Princess.

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Marianne's Conversion

Poor, faithful Marianne. She has led so many lives, and has suffered through her reiterations with remarkable stoicism. Nothing she did for me was good enough. I railed against her when she was a road bike with drop bars. And though things improved with upside-down Albatross bars, the poor creature continued to be verbally abused for being "uncomfortable," "unstable" and "twitchy". Faced with the prospect of redundancy, Marianne shed bitter tears and begged me to take drastic measures: "Make me a fixed gear!" she cried, "I would rather go under the knife than be sold and make yet another owner miserable with my ridiculously steep geometry. Who could say no to a beauty in tears?

I will not bore you with too many technical details of the fixed gear conversion, except to say that with the right bike it is not difficult for the mechanically inclined. Marianne was the right bike, because she had the horizontal(ish) dropouts necessary for the conversion and not too many braze-ons.

To convert this type of bicycle to fixed gear, you need to remove the rear and front derailleurs, the shifters, and all the wiring between them, and replace the rear wheel with a fixed gear wheel. In theory, you could also rebuild the original wheel with a fixed gear hub, but this is not recommended for old wheels - Given that a complete fixed gear wheel can be had for as little as $60, it is not worth the risk. You will also need a new chain, a fixed rear cog and a lock ring.

The cats were skeptical about the process, but it took the Co-Habitant just a couple of hours to turn Marianne into a ridable fixed gear.

But while the bike was ridable, the aesthetics of the result were not spectacular. As you can see here, the Motobecane crankset was the kind that had both the inner and outer chainrings attached to the spider and included an integrated chainguard. There was no way to remove all that stuff and just leave one chainring and the cranks. But we did not want to get a new crankset (and the new bottom bracket that would have to go with it) - both for financial reasons, and because I really like having the original Motobecane cranks. So we decided to modify the existing set-up.

We first removed the large chainring and cut off the spider arms starting after the small chain ring. This required the Co-Habitant to spend some quality time with somervillain's dremmel.

He then polished the edges of the remaining spider arms.

All this took longer than the initial conversion, but the result was worth it.

I painted the inlays of the cranks with red nail polish.

Marianne emerged from the operating room more beautiful than ever. She even lost weight.

No more stem shifters!

I know this might invite criticism, but we did cut off the derailleur hanger from the rear dropouts and are thinking of popping off the little braze-ons for the shifter cables. I think this bicycle is better off as a fixed gear/ single speed (it has a flip-flop hub for the option of being turned into a freewheel) and will stay this way. Even if I should sell it down the line, I would rather sell it to a girl who can ride a bike like this, than to a girl who is hoping for a cute cruiser-type mixte and will be disappointed by this bike's handling. Also, this is a mass produced and very common frame that is not some fantastic piece of French bicycle history. I would not do this to a valuable or historically significant bike.

I've ridden the bike already, and I love it. I haven't the energy to discuss the riding experience in this post, so will save that for next time.  Doing the fixed gear conversion on our own was an educational experience, and the DIY crankset turned out beautifully.  Of course, all this was mainly the Co-Habitant's handiwork; I was the helper. He does not like fixed gear bikes, but did this for me anyway - which was kind of him. But maybe he will come around want a matching bike as well some day... Though personally I see him on one of these!

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BSNYC "Summer Reese's" Announcement! (and Friday Fun Quiz!)

(Spotted in Paradise, CA by a reader.)

Firstly, I am pleased (for myself) to announce that I will be embarking upon a short "Summer Reese's." This Reese's will start as of the end of this post and continue through next week, until I return on Monday, August 2nd with regular updates. In the meantime, I will continue to update my Universal Sports Tour de France-themed webular blog, and if I have any other urgent news, insights, or complaints to relate to you I will do so by means of my "Twitter" social networking account.

Secondly, I've received a number of questions recently as to the availability (or lack thereof) of my book from a popular online South American river-themed retailer. As I mentioned not too long ago, due to the apparent popularity of the book (people seem to be buying large quantities and burning them in protest), both the retailer and my publisher have sold out of copies, and right now we are, as they say in the book publishing industry, "waiting for new copies to arrive." This should happen in the first week-ish of August, at which point they will be shipped to any booksellers who need or want them, such as the river-themed one. (I would do this myself, except that I can't afford an appropriately smug Metrofiets, and even if I could it would probably take me roughly nine years to complete the deliveries.) In the meantime, other retailers both online and traditional may still have copies, or I might recommend just reading the engrossing "Sweet Valley High" series of books for young adults instead.

Also, before I gas up the fan boat and hit the swamps of New Jersey for my vacation, I'll mention that the New York Times has published an article about New York City's new and evolving mountain bike trails:

I should point out that last week I criticized the local media for focusing on the more inane elements of the fixed-gear trend while ignoring the positive effect these new and legal mountain bike trails have had on the parks, and so I'd like to not only thank the New York Times for publishing this article but also pretend they read my post and take full credit for it. However, in keeping with my tradition of complaining about everything, I'd like to complain about some things contained in the following excerpt, since I ride at Cunningham Park often:

Firstly, I realize the New York Times style manual requires its reporters to assume that everybody in New York City lives either in downtown Manhattan or the Brooklyn brownstone belt, but the truth is getting to the trailhead at Cunningham Park is not hard at all if you live near Cunningham Park, which many thousands of people actually do. (Yes, New York Times, actual human beings do live east of the Van Wyck Expressway, and some of them even possess the education it requires to read your paper.) Anyway, this is less a complaint about the article than it is about the New York Times in general, and certainly Cunningham Park is not close to everybody (including me)--which is why I'll also point out that, if you're one of these people and need or want to reach it by public transportation, the Long Island Railroad is a good option and the trails are a pretty short ride from the station in Hollis. I'd also like to complain that, despite being one-way as the article points out, Cunningham does have its share of "trail salmon," who can often be seen riding shirtless on rickety bikes with pie plates. Lastly, it just so happens I was there the day the photographs in the article were taken, and this rider was wearing an All Hail the Black Market jersey:

The Times could have at least gotten it in focus.

Anyway, watch out for poison ivy.

I am now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then go buy yourself something nice and feel free to take a vacation yourself, and if you're wrong you'll see anime (crash) porn.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I'll see you on August 2nd.

--BSNYC/RTMS

cc: Vito the Monkey

1) What is Alberto Contador doing to Andy Schleck at the end of Stage 17?

--Admiring his close shave

--Accepting his used chewing gum
--Loving him tenderly
--Impossible to determine conclusively from available evidence

2) During his Stage 15 victory salute, Thomas Voeckler exposed his:

--Biceps

--Nipples
--Midriff
--"Pants yabbies"

3) According to Carlos Sastre, bicycle racing has become:

--A "parody of itself"
--A "baby's playpen"
--A "kindergarten"

--A "total 'woosie'-fest"

4) This is the start of:

--"The Great American Bicycle Race" (1982)

--The "Hell of the West" scene in "American Flyers" (1985)

--The famous Greg LeMond/Laurent Fignon TT showdown at the 1989 Tour de France

--Some alleycat from like a week ago

5) According to ESPN, "Bike polo isn't really for the ____:"

--Timid
--Talented
--Feint of heart [sic]
--Mature

6) How much do "fixie" lessons cost in Amsterdam?

--€ 15

--€ 25
--€ 125

--A bag of weed and your dignity

(via "Cycling Without a Helmet")

("For the hundredth time, I'm not Joe Mantegna!")

7) After being cut off by a cab while cycling in the bike lane and injuring his elbow, Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa made the following observations:

--"He was very concerned when he realized it was me."

--"He was careless, but that's not illegal."

--"Wear a helmet."

--All of the above

***Special Caption Contest-Themed Bonus Question***

The winning caption for this week's "Caption Contest" in The New Yorker was:

--"This is the last time I shop for manual transmission lessons on Craigslist."

--"I see you opted for the short-throw shifter."

--"Oops, I just hit a cyclist! Good thing being careless is not illegal, he was wearing a helmet, and he wasn't the mayor."

--None of the above

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Who Wants a T-Shirt?

The other day I received a couple of t-shirts from Jon Gehman (maker of the Roadster Rack I wrote about earlier). These come in funky colours and are made based on his pen and ink drawings of wacky bike cartoons. I have more t-shirts than I know what to do with, so I thought it would be fun to give them away! Here is what I got:

"Biker Chick". This t-shirt is sage green and features a drawing of a Mennonite(?) woman in a bonnet and apron, riding a step-through bicycle with a basket and baby chicks on the rear rack. (Take that, WSJ!) The size is marked "M", but I would say it is an XS-S - suitable either for ladies size 0-4, a child, or a very scrawny man. It is longish in the torso. 100% cotton.

"Go Gitcher Bike, Let's Roll!" This t-shirt is bright turquoise and features a drawing of a mischievous boy, about to take off on his 1950s banana seat cruiser. The size is marked "L", and I would say it is a ladies' L / men's M. In the picture I am cinching it at the waist, but in actuality it is loose throughout. 100% cotton.

If you'd like one of these t-shirts, please leave a comment with the funniest, or silliest, or stupidest, or cleverest bicycle-related slogan you have seen (or came up with yourself), and don't forget to mention which of the two shirts you want. I will pick a recipient for each t-shirt at the end of this weekend. Continental USA only please (unless you are willing to pay for the shipping). As some of you know, I am very bad with mailing stuff, but I promise I'll be good on this one and will try to send the shirts to their rightful owners quickly!


[Edited to add:  The recipient of the green t-shirt is sarahgringa. Turquoise shirt goes to MandG.  Please email your mailing address to: filigreevelo-at-yahoo-dot-com! ]

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Velo Inventory

Sometimes I am asked how many bicycles I have and what is the function of each. As we are building up my custom Royal H. mixte, I have been giving this some thought. I do not want to have redundant bikes and therefore I need to make some decisions. So here is my velo-inventory for the world to see - and pass harsh judgment upon, if so desired.

Pashley Princess Sovereign (Eustacia Vye)

used as: a transport bike
age: made in 2009
unique? No. My vintage Raleigh performs the same role.
pros and cons? Pros: very stable and great in bad weather. Cons: very heavy and more sluggish than my vintage Raleigh.

Raleigh DL-1 Lady Tourist (Velouria)

used as: a transport bike
age: made in 1973
unique? No. My Pashley Princess performs the same role.
pros and cons? Pros: As fast and nimble as this kind of bike can possibly be. Cons: It is old and I am afraid to rely on it as my only transport bike.


Rivendell Sam Hillborne (Graham Greene)

used as: a road and touring bike
age: made in 2009
unique? Yes. I have no other bike like this.
pros and cons? Pros: A fast and extremely comfortable bike for road cycling. Cons: none.

Mercier Mixte (Suzanne)

used as: an errand bike to keep in my photography studio (which is in another town) for running local errands
age: made in the late 1960's or early 1970's
unique? No. My Motobecane Mirage mixte could take its place.
pros and cons? Pros: makes a great errand bike. Cons: It is old and ever-so-slightly too small for me.

Motobecane Mirage Mixte (Marianne)

used as: A light touring bike when I want to be upright, yet go fast-ish and climb hills
age: made in 1981
unique? No. My new custom mixte will make it redundant.
pros and cons? Pros: It is pretty, but not a rare or high-end bike; can lock it up and not worry. Cons: It is too aggressive for its purpose; not a comfortable bike.

Royal H. Mixte (not yet built up or named)

(will be) used as: a light touring bike when I want to be upright, yet go fast-ish and climb hills
age: frame built in 2009
unique? No. The vintage Motobecane already serves the same function.
pros and cons? Pros: Hopefully, when all built up it will be perfect. Cons: I will be afraid to lock it up and leave it unattended anywhere.

So there you have it, my inventory to date. As you can see, I "only" have 5 bikes so far, which I do not think is too insane. Okay, and a 6th one being built up. Still not totally bonkers, right?..

In terms of bikes performing overlapping roles, there are two major redundancies: the Pashley vs the vintage Raleigh, and the Royal H. mixte vs. the vintage Motobecane. The redundancies bother me, and I would like to have only one bike in each category. This would mean either selling whichever bike is redundant, or repurposing them in some way. Not at all sure what I will do yet regarding the Pashley vs Raleigh conflict. As for the vintage Motobecane mixte, she is currently in the process of being saved from elimination (or being butchered, depending on your perspective). God, I guess I do have too many bikes!

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Dubious Innovations: The "Curation" Is Worse Than the Disease

(Alberto Contador's new corporate logo, via Cycle Jerk.)

Yesterday's post, in which I pointed out that a pair of Garmin-Slipstream team bikes were being auctioned on eBay, has apparently caused quite a bit of controversy on the other side of the "Hotlantic Ocean"--particularly in France, where some sort of big bike race is taking place. Indeed, a reader informs me that team director Jonathan Vaughters was barraged with questions during the rest day in Pau. While I'm not exactly sure what the reporters were asking him, I do have a pretty good idea, for as you can see he looks like a deer in the headlights (albeit a pretentious deer with a private school education and a subscription to "The Nation"):

The New Yorker magazine cover model Eustace Tilley (illustrated), fashion designer Perry Ellis (deceased), and noted ascot enthusiast Thurston Howell, III (fictional) have reportedly already received subpoenas, and in conjunction with the now-infamous email confession of his dry cleaner, their testimonies could finally spell the end of Vaughters's argyle-print reign of terror.

Speaking of fashion choices, with the Aerospoke carbon composite bicycle wheel still the first choice of "tarck" bike riders all over the world, it's easy to forget both their humble beginnings as a heavily-discounted item in the "secret website" catalog, as well as the other types of cyclists who also embrace Aerospoke's not particularly light and not particularly aero technology. One such cyclist is the New York City food delivery person, and here is a perfect example of the sort of bicycle on which your overpriced Thai food will arrive should you "order in" in Manhattan:

In Brooklyn the "hipsters" have begun to take over the food delivery industry, and it's simultaneously frustrating and amusing to see them balancing boxes containing expensive wood fired pizzas on the bullhorn handlebars of their "fixies" as they salmon their way down major avenues. (I'm sure a New York Times "Spokes" article about the gentrification of restaurant food delivery will now be forthcoming.)

In Manhattan, however, a different type of rider and bicycle remains king. With front and rear disc brakes, suspension, motocross-style "filth prophylactics," and a full complement of gear ratios, these are the antithesis of the bicycles ridden by their liberal arts degree-holding food delivery brethren across the "Big Skanky." The one thing both groups have in common, though, is that despite riding heavily customized bicycles, neither one will add a single component that actually facilitates food "portaging." In the case of the Manhattan delivery people, you might think that at some point during the two-hour process of wrapping the frame in helicopter tape it might also occur to the owner to add a basket, but evidently this is not the case. It will occur to them to race you, however; even if you're not racing at all, and even if they have a 20lb thermal food bag dangling from the handlebars. In any case, the "old school" delivery person in the dirty apron riding a Worksman is becoming an increasingly rare site (which is a shame because they were much easier to beat in a race).

In other cycling "tech" news, on Tuesday I mentioned a "revolutionary" new chainring design (apparently "revolutionary" now means "pointless"), and a reader has subsequently informed me that it is in fact so revolutionary that it's already been done (albeit on the rear):

Apparently, the revolution will be both pointless and redundant.

For the ultimate in pointlessness, though, you really have to install a CVT on a CSSB, or "Central Storage System for Bicycles," brought to you by "Tato" and forwarded to me by a number of readers:
The Tato is specifically designed to carry objects that are narrow and oblong, and now you can finally have that dedicated laptop, board game box, or coffee table book porteur bike you've always dreamed of owning. And if that wasn't smart enough, they've also designed it into a 26-inch mountain bike platform, which is great if you need to get that game of Parcheesi through a heavily wooded area in a big hurry. I particularly enjoyed the assertion that "rear and front carriers make your bike difficult to ride and park," and that there's "no need to use accessories to secure items" on this bike--as if being able to hang a bag on your bike and then carry that bag around with you were a problem instead of the huge convenience that it actually is.

Of course, the "making something that really isn't a problem seem like one" approach is a classic component of any sales pitch. In particular, it's used to stunning effect in infomercials, which always contain that short clip of a very frustrated person struggling to do something commonplace. Take for example this infomercial for "Wonder Hangers," in which, at :37 seconds, we see a woman vainly fighting with her non-Wonder Hangers:

Note that the video goes from color to black and white to underscore the primitive nature of the technology she's using, and notice how she grits her teeth and becomes enraged as she tries to access her favorite shirt.

You can also see it in the infomercial for the "Emery Cat." At about :06 seconds, an innocent woman is practically mauled by her beloved house pet:

If only she had purchased the "Emery Cat," today she might still have both her eyes.

One day I will string all of these "making something that really isn't a problem seem like one" infomercial moments together into an "epic" Citizen Kane of Futility (alas, it seems it's already been done), but in the meantime I will ponder how difficult cycling is without a front-wheel drive power assist, via another reader:


I know what you're thinking: "That's hideous." However, you're sure to change your mind when you see it with the fairing:

(Wind-cheating schnoz provides maximum efficiency.)

If that bicycle had a "CSSB" instead of a rear rack it would be almost perfect.

Given the proliferation of power-assisted bicycles, it's worth pondering at what point one is simply better off just purchasing a motorcycle or scooter. This is not an easy question to answer, but when one needs to carry both a road bike and a unicycle with aerobars (as "tweeted" by "Sup Cat") one has clearly reached that point long ago:

I wonder of both the unicycle and the bicycle belong to the motorcycle owner, or if one belongs to a passenger and together they're about to embark on a Fellini-esque "epic."

Meanwhile, the proprietor of the "Slice Harvester" blog has spotted what may very well be the ultimate in STI lever cockpit "curation:"

My best guess is that the rider simply grips the brake levers and shifts with a flick of the wrists. I would love to see this in action, and it must be like watching somebody in a motel shower trying to get the water temperature just right. Really, the only thing that would make this cockpit more fascinating would be some additional hand positions, which could be achieved with an additional set of handlebars and the judicious application of duct tape, as seen on the Problem Solvers blog:

This must be how Minneapolis beat Portland.

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