If you're a cyclist, you've almost certainly been hit or almost hit at some point by a driver who's either oblivious or actively stupid. This is especially irritating since many of us are also motor vehicle owners or at least occasional drivers. Yet somehow when we're riding we find ourselves demoted to the status of squirrels, in that most drivers simply leave all the evasive action up to us. Survival is our problem. But as stupid as some drivers are, it would appear that they're not entirely to blame--it's also their driving instructors who train them to behave stupidly. Take for instance this vehicle I encountered yesterday:As it passed me, I noticed that the driver--who, one would assume, was the student--was talking on a cellphone. Moreover, the passenger--who, one would assume, was the instructor--was actually holding the cellphone to the driver's ear for her. Now, it's illegal to use a hand-held cellphone while driving in New York State. However, in this case we enter a nebulous "grey area," since it is legal to talk on a cellphone while driving if you use a hands-free device. So, in this case, does the driving instructor himself constitute a hands-free device? Moreover, ITTET, are people now renting themselves out as human Bluetooths? And, perhaps most importantly, when someone gets run over by a driver who's talking on a phone someone else is holding for him, is the victim less likely to be injured or killed than they are by a driver who's holding the phone himself?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQD4lMDruVpJs1vT-SrPkPnz82J09yFhVFcgxuf9WKcEWkEjy7KwNShyatAKSl1Aq5Q2IUO_Yvmu-iakbESYHqmfGa4rT-gcY2sy_VALFzHJkXVY1PpNH3IvoplvPTyykASi0C6uj5HDiV/s400/Cute+bearded+boy+on+bike+peddling+down+6th+Avenue.jpg)
Cute bearded boy on bike peddling down 6th Avenue (South Slope - 6th Ave & 15th Street)
Date: 2009-09-24, 8:26PM EDT
Just a few seconds more of my looking and I may very well have crashed into something. That street is tight. You were biking, bearded and with nice hair and all, in the opposite direction. All I needed was a few seconds to see you were super cute....I think you looked back :) at least I hope you were looking at me and not just at my tank of a car, as to avoid me not hitting you
Yes, next time someone driving a "tank of a car" almost plows into you, just comfort yourself with the knowledge that they may actually be fantasizing about gaining access to your "viscous comfort zone." Then again, it could just be that they're distracted by olfactory hallucinations which cause them to smell bagels even when there are none around:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6r2NrPspZDG6Sk8KzZ8IW9nEojwg4VIHJoQ4pygPULfGveU2em-y9Xwx7d9f94_7WkWZwuxPeS_sxHZy2wJgZmRHx38Tv0s_oNvuDLqNrbp06uAKDrDpxopUoQlIWY9GQ58S3dkdkKmZz/s400/I+asked+if+you+smelled+Bagels+-+m4w.jpg)
I asked if you smelled Bagels - m4w (21st and 1st ave. 8.45 am)
Date: 2009-09-24, 10:01AM EDT
You were wearing a nice dress and rode a blue bike. I asked you, a bit randomly, if you caught the intense smell of Bagels at that corner. It was an excuse to talk to you, of course, but it also is a legitimate question -- I catch that smell lots of mornings and, well, there's never anyone around to mention it to. So thanks for being there.
Also, you are totally beautiful.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsHeAGljE-yUYHUzDBSsuKFALOqTKhPQIbAcB1EonA8Pc3PvPdlRCnxfNEw6_tXk88vPSvmRSXh-pZKdIWWNEMyNsN7mlix2lDmDaLMerg7nrPD3x90zDi1qvFAlw_bdsHWpYuCYYyCftA/s400/repurposed+meter.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB4MFC0b7r94WE5D2wIxWJkvtpYgVIhGVAQINUDLWpkuIHe28zgcBeSil0hNb1DKrY8DHI_T0bltnBc3u6m4xUxCQq0Wj52g13Yf5hT5G4sYMeqSeVVddM7EWR9aBL3lQClqNgPAX-BXAs/s400/hipster+high-lock.jpg)
2) "It's spreading!" The "Hipster High-Lock" bicycle parking technique (employed here on a geared bike) has migrated to:
--Birmingham, AL
--Louisville, KY
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqpPdFGe3wSUkdFU76bP5uPV5kZv3NMOeQSEIQnwQSt_xuoGpWBL_lFZvBHTE7spENcfMFxbM4sZ23s-5qv4sFBPhc-Qf378n8wuw9LtC0c8eNFCrzDYkoQQHpTgLY4i972TbiFeiAozov/s400/hipster+handhold.jpg)
3) In fixed-gear circles, it is acceptable when "palping" drop bars to employ the "Hipster Handhold."
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlwOe7Ay_hoqPTETRW7dTwmX4oRFpXPblIwJYYx2-vIUZnBaaIvookvgq3RD8JuBCZD6Jl-Q02g5jhcJ_kLnTbvzOoWyMs26srCFums1a3H6UbZT8q48CQ7htSBN2lE-ED1R-KMxuQiUt/s400/honda.jpg)
--"Bridge the gap between personal transportation and furniture."
--"Open the way forward to infinite possibilities."
--"Open the way forward to toilets on wheels."
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoAKUWazq4vcgiSJFR-nXBF3z-sAJXW8TvzBhZF4Zlz0SO1zFXEpVQ6fdKTxxH5ItXIEfFoMKJLDSMLrg3eIeI7NJLIoUlr0zMZ-cJjOWyFCBzqeEPnJwkO4GB19NiPfZKBf3nXJgLrqcZ/s400/At+the+American+Museum+of+Natural+History,+Gossamer+Silk+From+Spiders+-+NYTimes.com.jpg)
--"About as much give as a chain used to lock up a New York City messenger’s bike."
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxGa_mUvZ6Naoe-zawO9GebNnQcvIMts2TKstQoppq4WeHqU922P4z1H73IxJo5bUJjqefYBQbFNMvlNTDx81EzrGHdROhd8UeJoB63jw1UMYREjNaF_TxBdCTxXf6oYrO5ve5rPMXWu7F/s400/recycle.jpeg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4EXtXceIjf1Ed6wZhPmmCiSoQzqRT99Vxv8dsjUtJQCVp7MaVRnMw_NYmgpBFrVsLhib_ha8qpJYnIJscjftqJS4iC8jjh1OBoJkRoFKTW4_8DXvr3MD4Jx5A2DBDGbeEBYylHcIMsm5v/s400/ambrosio.jpg)
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