One of the most dangerous aspects of cycling (apart from the ever-present risk of death) is the tendency many of us have to think that we "know it all." While time and experience make all of us better cyclists, if unchecked they also can conspire to transform us into insufferable pedants--serial retrogrouches and über-curmudgeons who automatically dismiss the strange and unfamiliar as "myth and lore," or "fiddle faddle," or "balderdash," or any other crotchety term of derision to which the cantankerous and ornery are inclined. In an attempt to thwart the onset of this condition in myself (I recently caught myself using the word "poppycock"), I have admitted that there is indeed still much I don't know, and have also resolved to open my mind to new knowledge. For this reason, I was pleased to receive the following video from a reader:
Immediately after watching, I abandoned my resolution, for while old dogs may be able to learn new tricks, sometimes "classic" ones like licking themselves are all they need.
Really, if you want to do any better, you need to look to Australia, home of Hugo & Treats, who astute readers will remember as the "curators" of the infamous "Keep Pedalling" video:
Rumor has it that Hugo was the first choice for the Bixi assignment, but due to the fetid state of his trademark blond dreadlocks he was held in quarantine at Montréal–Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport for a period of six months, after which the Public Health Agency of Canada deemed them a biological hazard and ultimately denied Hugo entry into the country:
Reportedly, Hugo was devastated by the decision, for not only was he desperate for the Bixi gig, but he was also looking forward to visiting the Athabasca oil sands and fortifying his coiffure with bitumen.
Speaking of attempts to appeal to the "youth," Scott Bikes has announced that it will produce an e-bike:
However, unlike other e-bikes, which are apparently marketed to "an older consumer," the Scott e-bike will "target a younger demographic" thanks to it's "white, green, and yellow" color(way):
Yes, nothing transforms an uncool object for old people into a must-have for young fans of "urban design" like the simple application of colors--a universal truth to which the Best Made Axe attests. Indeed, young people everywhere will certainly be clamoring for e-bikes once they see this key lime pie color scheme, and when paired with the matching Scott crabon fribé walker it will surely be the "hot set-up" on your local cyclocross circuit. You can also expect the Denny's early bird special to supplant happy hour at the faux dive bar as the cool place to be seen and mingle, and obviously the "bike pile" outside will be electrically-assisted instead of "fixed."
In the meantime, if you're not ready to make the leap to e-bikes (perhaps because you fear that in the process of leaping you might break your hip) you can always get a Bowery Lane Bicycle, as featured recently in the Wall Street Journal:
Bowery Lane Bicycles are simple cruisers inspired by the infatuation New York City's smug and fashion-conscious have with Amsterdam and the notion of "cycle chic:"
The idea for the company came about when Mr. Bernard traveled to Amsterdam with his wife and saw its cycling culture. "We wanted to replicate that here," says Mr. Bernard.
We proudly offer Bowery Lane Bicycles to you. We conceive, build and finish these bikes for unsurpassed quality, sustainability and style. We use only American steel for our frames, which are forged in a factory that derives 30% of its power from solar panels. The facility is located within New York City limits, which means employees can commute via bicycle or public transport. In short, we produce these bikes conscious of our impact on the country, the environment and the local community.
I'm sure that right now plenty of people in Portland are saying, "So what? I totally have a piano porteur bike," but their mock dismissal cannot mask their insecurity. Apparently, Mr. B is aided by the rest of his band, and as they travel they receive much approbation from their fellow cyclists--though the simian manner in which they express it was new to me:
Guitarist Brian Delaney says, "When bicyclists go by, they usually pump their chests or stick their fists up in the air in approval."
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