BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Like many cycling fans, I am still reeling after the Tour de France race jury's decision to expel Mark Renshaw from the race for allegedly (okay, obviously) headbutting Julian Dean and then blocking Tyler Farrar's sprint. As I mentioned in my Universal Sports blog, I find it ironic that the jury would penalize Renshaw so harshly, whereas Carlos Barredo's Stage 6 attack with a deadly crabon weapon (his front wheel) cost him only a small fine in an obscure (and, I suspect, fictional) currency. Here is footage of the sprint, narrated in a non-English languageway so as not to compromise your objectivity (unless of course you speak that languageway):



Note that Julian Dean like totally started the whole thing by leaning into Renshaw and then getting all "nudge nudge" with him:

I was already crying "Foul!" at this point from the cozy confines of my leatherette Tour-viewing beanbag, so when Renshaw protected his position via judicious application of his head I was totally supportive:

Renshaw then peeled off, giving Cavendish a clear shot at the line, as Farrar attempted to hold onto Cavendish's wheel:


Next, that woman with the helmet hat from that Wall Street Journal article blew by the entire peloton like they were a bunch of trackstanding "hipsters," a moment that will surely live forever in Tour de France history:

("I'm totally winning and stuff!")

At this point, Renshaw did drift into Farrar's line (which after the finish he claimed was unintentional, as he was supposedly attempting to sprint himself in order to soak up any remaining green jersey points, but which was a bit dicey), though to me at the time it actually seemed less egregious than Dean's initial blocking maneuver:

Then Petacchi veered wildly across the road, blocking both Farrar and Renshaw, which for some reason nobody is complaining about and which allowed him to finish in second place and claim the green jersey:


In the end, the "Man Missile" took the stage, and both Renshaw and the helmet-hat woman were disqualified:

While Renshaw's behavior is certainly not above reproach (particularly his blocking of Farrar), I do think his expulsion is ridiculous, especially considering both the wheel attack and the fact that Robbie McEwen only received a relegation after headbutting Stuart O'Grady back in 2005:

Then again, this is the same race organization that is X-raying bicycles now (which is the competitive cycling equivalent of making people take their shoes off at the airport) so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

If anything, I blame Garmin for all of this, whose rivalry-with-Columbia-that-they-refuse-to-acknowledge-in-interviews occasionally leads to "cockblocking." We saw this last year on Stage 14, when Garmin chased the breakaway and "cockblocked" Hincapie out of the yellow jersey. (Not that anybody necessarily owed Hincapie the jersey, but it was a "cockblock" nonetheless.) Similarly, yesterday's move by Dean was also a "cockblock," and while Renshaw responded in kind I always say "Let he who is without 'cockblocking' block the first cock." (I'm not sure what that means, but it allows me to meet today's unusually high cock-per-paragraph quota.)

Having thusly opined, I am now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see "cycle chic."

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and keep your head to yourself this weekend (unless someone requests it, of course).

--BSNYC/RTMS

(An early Tour de France prediction ritual in progress)

1) Lumar the Lobster, my Tour de France oracle, is 12 for 12 so far in stage win predictions (prologue included):

--True

--False

"The only problem was that the three-man breakaway couldn’t get the skin off the custard. I mean really I don’t know what they were trying to do. Maybe they just wanted to go say hi to grandma or something, but they weren’t racing bikes. Honestly it was like they attacked, got in the break, and then said to themselves, “Oops, I don’t really want to be here!” They were going so slow we needed training wheels not to fall off our bikes! And needless to say, we caught them without even trying."

2) Who said the above?

--Jens Voigt

--Mark Renshaw

--David Millar

--Paul Sherwen

3) Which of the following is not referenced in the recent Wall Street Journal article about "cycle biker chic?"

--"a refugee from the Tour de France"
--"handlebars curled low like a ram's horns"
--"foam-padded bike shorts"

--"exotic leg ointments and groin creams"

4) The latest in Manhattan residential amenities is the bicycle valet.

--True
--False

(Riding a fixed-gear is exactly like being a guest on "The Merv Griffin Show.")

5) According to a rider in Calgary, riding a fixed-gear is:

--"A continual conversation with the road"

--"An ongoing debate with both the streets and common sense"

--"A long and awkward silence between you and the pavement, punctuated by random outbursts of obscenity"

--"A one-sided series of non-sequiturs"

("Lip balm?")

6) The smug beverage container of choice is officially:

--The mason jar
--The aluminum water bottle
--The "vintage" military canteen
--The hollowed-out coconut

("Captain Fred, in the library, with the helmet mirror.")

7) Which of the following has somehow become a clue to others that you ride a bike?

--You have a "chainring tattoo"

--You are sweaty and winded

--You are wearing a helmet indoors
--You look like a lumberjack

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