This Just In: An Annoying "Out of Office" Auto-Reply!

(Hitting the rode.)

Of all the fears I harbor (and there are many), three of them loom greater and more forbiddingly than all the rest, and they are (in ascending order of menace):

3) Having to use an unfamiliar bathroom;

2) Having to express a cat's anal glands;

And of course the big one,

1) Having to take temporary leave of this blog.

Alas, it is with a heavy heart that I announce I must do numbers three (3) and one (1), for I have traveling to do, and these travels mean that not only will I have to use unfamiliar bathrooms (unless I can "hold it in" for a really long time), but I will also be unable to place words into this blog (at least not ones worth reading, inasmuch as any of this is worth reading, which is debatable, but believe it or not I do have standards).

All of this is a very roundabout way of saying that I'm about to board a plane and that I will be away from this blog until Thursday, March 3rd, at which point I will return with regular updates. Yes, there is much to look forward to in March, as you can see from looking at this calendar:

As for the nature of my travels, the first portion of the trip will actually consist of testing bicycles with the editorial staff of Bicycling magazine, during which I will finally get to see how they decide that one crabon bicycle is more laterally still and vertically compliant than another. This is very poignant for me, since it's been almost four years since I wrote this post, and I'm dying to find out if Bicycling's testing process is as unintentionally funny as the reviews it yields. Sadly though I'll probably never find out, since judging by my recent training numbers I expect to get dropped immediately and never see the editorial staff of Bicycling ever again:



As for the second portion of the trip, that goes beyond the purview of this blog, but let's just say I'm finally going into the studio to record that country and Western album I've been talking about.

In any case, like a good minimalist, I've got my suitcase bike:



And my suitcase chair:


And a suitcase for my cellphone and cellphone accessories:

Though unfortunately I don't have a suitcase for my actual clothes, since apparently they don't make those anymore. Also, I was unable to find my preferred road bicycle riding sunglasses (otherwise known as "optics"), and after much digging all I was able to turn up were these positively Fred-tastic Oakley M Frames in a strange orangey-yellow "colorway" from "back in the day:"

(Oakley M Frames and disembodied hand.)

I may just have to squint on this trip, though I imagine I'd also cut a dashing Kenny Powers-esque figure as I sit in the terminal on my suitcase chair gazing at the departure screen through my M Frames. Or maybe I'll just put them on eBay, where bicycles and bicycle parts surf an endless sea of disembodied hands, like concertgoers at Lollapalooza:

(Impressive eBay disembodied hand curation forwarded by a reader.)

In the meantime, I apologize for neglecting my blogular duties, but I will point out that I did blogulate yesterday, which was technically a holiday, so that's something anyway. Also, if I have anything urgent to relate during my absence I will do so by means of my Tweeter. As always, thank you very much for reading, and I look forward to returning on Thursday, March 3rd.

Until then, I remain yours,

--BSNYC/RTMS

BSNYC/vthm

cc: David Byrne

bcc: David Byrne's car

Posted in: this just in