Wednesday Competition of the Knowledge of the Bicycle Snobs NYC! (And Announcement of Short Recess.)

Even though I worship the Lobster God (I'm totally off the Chicken God, He answered none of my prayers), this does not mean that I can't observe Christmas. In fact, an important part of Lobster God worship is using other religions' holidays as an excuse to not do stuff. (This holiday parasitism is actually one of the holy Three Pincers of my faith, alongside sloth and cheese consumption.) For this reason, I will not be posting tomorrow or Friday, and will instead be deeply immersed in observing the Three Pincers until Monday, December 28th, when I will return with regular updates. (At least until New Year's Eve and Day, which I will also probably use as an excuse, even though Lobster God New Year is actually celebrated on February 29th, or what crustacea apostates call "Leap Year.")

Another thing my benevolent and delicious Lobster God allows me to do (praise and melted butter be unto thee, o Lobster God!) is accept gifts on regular Christmas, even though Lobster Christmas is not until what you infidels call "Arbor Day." (Arbor Day was Earth Day 1.0.) However, my Lobster God does require me to gloat over gifts (gloating is a sacrament), so I will now gloat over this seasonal holiday gift basket I received from the good people at Rapha:

Actually, Rapha just sent the Rouleur stuff--I made the seasonal gift basket myself using wilted celery, potatoes, and an old "compact disc." (I read how to do it in Martha Stewart Living.) The little book is the latest issue of Rouleur, and the big book is the "Photography Annual." It's full of photography as you would expect, and in the spirit of the season I've garnished it with Stoned Wheat Thins and vegetarian bacon (both staples of my helper monkey, Vito's, diet):

(All You Haters Covet My Gift)

Having gloated, rather than leave you with nothing I will now present you with a short quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll receive a consolation prize in the form of "Christmas in Hollis."

Happy Holidays (or happy holiday avoidance depending on how sardonic you are) from my "family" to yours, and ride safe if your regional weather pattern allows. Thanks very much for reading and emailing, and I'll see you on Monday the 28th.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) There's no surer sign of Christmas than:

--A Yuletide-themed Fixedgeargallery entry

--A drunken Santa eating a purloined salmon

--A drunken salmon hitting a nonplussed Santa

--A menorah

2) What's going on here?

--Rigorous shirt testing
--Rigorous bra fitting

--Rigorous bike fitting

--Rigorous knuckle tattoo-planning

(Fixed-gear freestyler pulls off the elusive tight-pants-palp-to-tire-pressure-check.)

3) Bad news for fixed-gear freestylers! Milwaukee, WI is on track to ban:

--Fitted caps

--Filming without permits

--"Fancy riding"

--"Collabos"

4) Where? Why? How?

--Los Angeles, Don't Know, Don't Wanna Know

--San Francisco, Who Knows, Who Cares

--New York, Too Much Wednesday Weed, Too Much Wednesday Weed

--Miami, Steve Hed x Grant Petersen "collabo," Heatstroke-Induced

5) Not only does this Philadelphia Craigslist ad feature a disembodied hand, but it also features a:

--Tramp stamp

--Pair of briefs

--Pair of Rolfs

--All of the above

"Dura-Ace features and feel but with a tad more weight--and a lot less money."

6) This is a quote from:

--A review of next year's Ultegra group

--A review of this year's Ultegra group

--A review of last year's Ultegra group

--Every review of every Ultegra group ever

***Special "Units of Measurement"-Themed Bonus Question***

"CC" stands for "cubic centimeters" and is commonly used to measure engine displacement in motorcycles.

--True

--False

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