BSNYC Friday Fawn Quiz!

The weekend is nearly upon us, and those of us who live in New York City are staring down the twin barrels buttocks (pimples and all) of the World Naked Bike Ride. The Tour de France of coping mechanisms, this is a great opportunity to convince yourself that you're helping the environment by applying paint and glitter to your nipples. It's also the perfect theme ride for people who long for something just as crotchally irritating as a "tweed ride" but without all that pesky clothing.

Still, for general smugness, you just can't beat a good old-fashioned bike move, and here's one that took place recently in Boulder, CO (forwarded by a reader):

If you were troubled by that "Fixed" video from Tuesday's post, you'll be pleased to know that this one features the GHMOIARBH's arch-nemesis, the Downy-Bearded Helmet Mirror-Wearer (or DBHMW):

(They just don't build bicycle helmets like they used to.)

His superpower is a lack of pretense, his sandals are SPD compatible, and he wields a pair of bar ends with deadly accuracy.

There's also nothing quite as satisfying as receiving "golf claps" from your fellow citizens:


Best of all, you're saving the Earth, and for this reason those car trips you made to the Home Depot to buy plastic tubs don't count:

Of course, moving by bike is even sweeter in Boulder, where you get to move into an apartment complex called "The Peleton:"

I had assumed that this was North America's only Pelé-themed communal dwelling, but it turns out they actually just misspelled "peloton." If you're thinking of moving to The Peloton, just keep in mind that they don't allow triathletes (it's a drafting thing). Also, as in the actual peloton, there are frequent blood and urine tests.

And with that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see fixed-gear freestyling gone corporate.

Thanks very much for reading and for forwarding many of the items of which this quiz is comprised, ride safe, and enjoy the weekend.

--BSNYC/RTMS

(The FleMond)

1) Floyd Landis and Greg LeMond now share:

--A therapist

--A legal team

--A two-bedroom apartment

--A single testosterone patch

2) After being sexually assaulted at the Giro d'Italia, Bradley Wiggins may opt to skip the Tour de France.

--True

--False

3) Bianchi is apparently trying to revive a flatlining PistaDex by offering their venerable Pista in:

--Cabon fiber
--Titanium
--Bamboo
--Black

4) The answer to every single question on "The Great Canadian Cyclists Exam" is "Steve Bauer."

--True
--False

5) At last, a:

--Hybrid-specific power meter for charity ride training

--Rear-view mirror "app"

--Bicycle-powered phone charger

--Knog smartphone

6) "Schluff" no more! Now you can buy a:

--Dutch bike shoulder strap

--Modern lightweight aluminum dandyhorse

--Bicycle wrist steering strap

--Lugged steel urban dog sled

7) This treadmill bike is:

--"Custum"
--"Great for this summer"
--"A real haed turner"
--All of the above

8) The mother of the wearer of this tattoo is evidently:

--A saint

--An angel

--A songbird

--A tool

***Special Olfactory-Themed Bonus Question***

If you smell a foul odor, it is time to:

--Open a window

--Blame the dog

--Replace your helmet

--Apply Pub, the masculine hygiene deodorant

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