Racing Towards Anxiety: Sowing the Seeds of Doubt

This past weekend, the Bicycle Film Festival took place in New York City. If you're unfamiliar with the Bicycle Film Festival, it's kind of like Sundance, only for the sorts of people who wear cycling caps as casual wear and ride brakeless bicycles with perpetually empty CETMA racks. I did not attend the festival, even though (or, more accurately, because) it featured films like that "Racing Towards Red Hook" video, the preview of which is so sublimely absurd as to warrant a second viewing:

expresso: racing towards red hook (trailer) from Jessica Scott on Vimeo.

In addition to the infamous "This ain't no hipster shit" quote, the "Racing Towards Red Hook" preview also features other rhinestones of wisdom, such as this:

"So many people have, like, this type of bike it makes sense to create some sort of sporting event around it."

I couldn't agree more. Given the popularity of fixed-gears it really is about time somebody invented some kind of competition in which these bicycles can be utilized. I think the ideal venue for a bicycle with a single gear ratio and no brakes would be some sort of flat, closed bicycle track, and instead of running lights and getting signatures on manifests or popping wheelies they could simply ride around and around it to see who's the fastest. It could be called a "velo-drome"--"velo" for bike, and "drome" for, well, drome--and if someone were to build some sort of prototype I have no doubt it would attract many fixed-gear cyclists with trendy moustaches:

Sure, it will be underground to begin with, but who knows? Maybe in 50 or 100 years racing bicycles inside of a "velo-drome" could become an olympic sport! I know it seems far-fetched, but hey, we can dream. And it will all have started thanks to the boundless vision of the guy in the Cinelli hat.

(Frank Warren: Non-Hipster and Inventor of the Velodrome)

It's hard to blame him for his exuberance though. After all, who among us has not discovered some new pleasure, and become so excited about it that we mistake this excitement for discovery? I know that was my experience when I tasted chocolate-dipped haggis for the first time. "Have you tried this?!?," I shouted exuberantly as I attempted to foist forkfuls of the stuff onto complete strangers. "It's amazing!" Little did I know artisanal chocolate-dipped haggis trucks have been all the rage in Brooklyn for like months now, and in my enthusiasm I came off as a total foodie "noob." Now, I know better, so I munch my chocolate-dipped haggis while wearing the appropriately fashionable expression of world-weary detachment.

Speaking of bicycle racing, that was one of the things I opted to do this past weekend instead of going to the Cycling Caps and Shants Film Festival. Even though I harbor no illusions as to my ability and enter races with little ambition beyond enjoying myself and not falling down, I'm usually excited before a race. I'm also always just a tiny bit nervous, mostly because I'm anticipating a state of anaerobic distress. Anyway, this was a mountain bike race, and as I stood there resting on my handlebars and awaiting the mad scramble for the holeshot, one of my fellow riders pointed to my arm and asked, "Has that been there from birth?" He was referring to a mole.

"I dunno," I replied.

"Well, you should really get it checked out," he pronounced in a dire tone.

One of my favorite things about bike racing is that, for the duration of the race, you set your troubles aside and focus only on riding your bike. Well, so much for that. Riding my bike was now the last thing on my mind, since apparently I had skin cancer. Basically, his words had the same excitement-quelling effect as slipping on a Larry King mask just before lovemaking. Then, my mind immediately shot to my recent return from Gothenburg, Sweden, when my driver had uttered these chilling words to me:

"You will die very soon. Mark my words. You will die very soon."

Sweet merciful Lob! It now became clear that he had put a curse on me and manifest a malignant mole upon my person.

A few rows ahead of me, a rider was wearing some sort of yellow LiveStrong helmet and glasses combo, and I resolved to push my way up to him and rub my moley arm all over his head and face in the hopes that his accessories might serve as a curative. Unfortunately, before I could get to him the race began, and like pretty much everybody else who was there that day he rode away from me rather easily.

Needless to say, I continued to reflect on this throughout the race, and at one point it occurred to me that perhaps it had been my fellow rider's plan to "psyche me out" all along by effectively transforming my race into a real-life "Seinfeld" episode. Furthermore, maybe I wasn't his only victim. For all I know, he could had been going from rider to rider and sowing seeds of doubt and fear in each one of them. "Hmmm, do you have a family history of glaucoma?," he might have asked as he peered into someone's eyes. "Did you just go to the bathroom again? Frequent urination can be a sign of adult onset diabetes."

In any case, if his intention was to undermine me he needn't have bothered, since in a race you can always count on me to undermine myself--and as usual, I did a commendable job of it. As for the mole, I suppose it couldn't hurt to go to the doctor, though I think I'll just take a picture of it and put it up on Twitter or Facebook instead. [Is my mole dangerous? If "yes," click the "Like" button!] Yes, here in HMO-merica, we're big believers in the power of amateur Internet diagnosis-by-consensus. Stuff like hands-on treatment and "universal health care" is for Canadians and communists.

Anyway, given my poor performance, I briefly flirted with retiring from cycling and taking up something less tiring. But what? For a moment, I considered origami:

But then I realized that the "origami culture" is probably just as cliquey and judgmental as the "bike culture." Consider the following:

Highlights of the exhibition included folded-paper versions of an Academy Award statuette, a miniature Buddha and a 15-foot Tyrannosaurus rex constructed by a group of students from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. All were completed without the aid of scissors or glue.

“We’re purists,” said Wendy Weiss, 44, of Holyoke, Mass.

Clearly scissors and glue are the brakes and derailleurs of the crafting world, and just like fixed-gear riders the scissorless-and-glueless set are way too self-righteous about not using them.

I suppose I could always sandbag as a Cat 6 racer, but frankly I don't think I could afford the equipment. As we saw last week, Cat 6-style flat-bar road bikes are becoming very exotic, and via the Twitter I've learned that cyclocross bikes are following suit:

2010 Stevens Team Cyclocross Bike (santa clara)
Date: 2011-06-24, 3:04PM PDT
Reply to: [deleted]

2010 52 cm Stevens Team Cyclocross Bike

* Sram Red Components
* Custom built Velocity wheels with Challenge Parigi-Roubaix 700x28 Tires
* Ritchie WCS Flat bars, Seat Post and Stem
* Fizik Arione Saddle
* Speedplay Stainless Zero pedals

8 months old and ridden less than 1000 miles

Over 4500.00 invested with receipts.

Great straight bar road bike. World class Cyclocross frame . Just a tad too big for me.
Best fit probably 5'7"-5'10". Weighs just under 17 LBS. Outstanding frame and components for the serious biker.

Serious inquires please call Joe @ 408-621-[deleted]


Good thing he kept the receipts. I hear shame is tax deductible now.

Read more »

Basket 2.0

What luck I have. Beset by medical and dental problems simultaneously, the past few days have left me drained. We went for a super slow ride on Saturday, but even that was difficult to manage in my drugged up, diminished lung capacity state. But when we passed Cambridge Bicycle I knew there was one thing that could make me feel better. A basket. Of course. What better cure for life's woes?

I have been eying this particular basket for months, and finally she is mine! It is made by the Peterboro Basket Company in New Hampshire, out of locally harvested White Ash. I think the model is this one. This basket is small, boxy, with a rectangular footprint, and it does not taper from top to bottom - which was exactly the style I wanted for this bicycle.

I refer to this as Basket 2.0, because I did not get along that well with the large wicker basket on my formerly-owned Pashley, and eventually removed it. This time around I looked for attributes that I hope will work for me.

For one thing, the Peterboro basket is fairly small, with a low profile and sides that don't stick out too far. It is also feather-light, made of such thin slivers of Ash that it almost feels like Balsa wood. Finally, we attached it directly to a front rack and not to handlebars, which minimises its impact on steering. Though the basket came with leather straps and metal buckles, we removed these and fastened it to the rack with zip ties. The straps and buckles were heavier than the basket itself, so doing this really made it weightless, as well as eliminated any potential jiggling. Cambridge Bicycle were nice enough to give us a handful of zip ties and some wire cutters, and we installed the basket right outside the shop in a matter of minutes.

When the basket is empty, I cannot feel it on the bike at all. It does not cause the wheel to flop to the side when the bike is parked.

It also leaves the frontmost tip of the tire unobscured, so that I can still see it while cycling. When a huge basket obscures the entire front wheel, I have a harder time feeling connected to the steering, but this is not an issue here.

When the basket is full, the weight feels well distributed and does not interfere with either steering or balance. With dimensions of 10.25" x 7" x 7" it is not meant to carry large objects; I have a rear rack and panniers for that. But the squat, boxy shape allows it to accommodate more stuff than you might think. As pictured above, the basket contains a huge portion of smoked salmon, a bucket of cream cheese, an economy pack of cheese sticks, a blueberry encrusted "goat cheese log," and a flower bouquet. There is room for more.

Since I am now using the mixte predominantly as a transportation bike, I wanted to maximise its utility as such. This basket provides a useful space for a jacket, camera, small handbag, or even a quick grocery store purchase, without impacting handling or (to my eye at least) marring the looks of the bike. The Co-Habitant wasn't too crazy about the look at first, but it grew on him. What do you think? What front-mounted basket systems have you used on your bikes, and have they ultimately worked for you? The difference between this set-up and the large, handlebar-mounted basket I used to have on the Pashley Princess is like night and day.

Read more »

Desain Sepeda Fixie Simple

Desain Sepeda Fixie Simple

Read more »

Gambar Sepeda Fixie Antik

Gambar Sepeda Fixie Antik

This is my aboriginal anchored accessory attempt, it's my old Triumph burghal bike that I c= onverted.

Fixed hub from Formula (rims are original) with Schwalbe Delta Cruiser tire= s Crank from Batavus - 44t & Cog BLB - 16t New Brooks saddle - the old one was absolutely broken

Read more »

We All Fall Down?

[image via Nationaal Archief]

Girl on Roadbike: So you've never worn clipless shoes?
Me: Nope.
GOR: Oh you should just do it! It's really easy, honest.
Me: Really?
GOR: Oh totally!
Me: So how did you get the hang of it?
GOR: Well, I fell down all the time at first!
Me: [horrified silence]
GOR: Yeah, it was pretty funny. I'd come to a stop and just go plop!
Me: Oh my God...
GOR: But don't worry, after a couple of weeks you'll be fine!

You see, that right there is what separates me from "normal people" who've grown up playing sports: I see being guaranteed to fall and being told not to worry as completely incompatible notions.

Hopefully I won't jinx myself by writing this here, but I've never fallen off my bike as an adult. When I tell this to experienced cyclists, their reaction is usually "Oh, that's not good. You need to get used to falling." The idea being that, if I have no concept of falling - and more importantly, of how to fall "correctly" - then when it actually happens (the use of "when" instead of "if" is in itself alarming), it's going to be bad. I've been given advice such as to go out and practice falling on some grass, but honestly I cannot imagine doing that unless someone holds a gun to my head... and even then, I'd probably be trying to talk my way out of it!

What exactly scares me about falling I don't know. I don't have a fear of pain, so that's not it (I sat though an emergency root canal without novocaine yesterday, which was honestly not so bad!). Maybe I have a strong self-preservation instinct, and the physical sensation of the fall triggers it. Either way, when I am told that a specific behaviour - like learning to ride clipless - is pretty much guaranteed to make me fall multiple times, I am highly motivated to avoid that behaviour.

How do you feel about the idea of falling off your bike? Is it something you view as an inherent part of cycling (be it for sport, recreation or transportation), or do you believe that it can (and should) be avoided?

Read more »

BSNYC Friday Actuarial Table!

There are those who say, "If it rains take the bus." I am not one of these people. When it's time to commute, no matter how "chubby" the rain may be, I let the bus trundle on by.

I take the subway instead.

Yesterday though, I elected to commute into The Big City despite the rain, and even though I don't have an exotic titanium stealth commuter I enjoyed the ride very much. This is because, while my beat-up Scattante may not have features like exquisite welds and electric shifting, it does have these cheap plastic things called "fenders." In my estimation, when it comes to commuting, even the most expensive bike is worthless if it's underneath a soggy ass. Between my fenders and my upright bars from Rivendell I was quite comfy, though I also looked like some schlubby, ill-advised "collabo" between the Performance mail order catalog and Yehuda Moon:

Speaking of cockpits, in the night I have been festooning my cockpit (as well as my seatpost) with USB rechargeable Knog Boomers:

I realize I usually traffic in derision, but today's Friday so I'll say that between my old man bars and my conveniently rechargeable blinky lights I've been a much happier commuter lately.

Of course, if your bicycle does not accept fenders, you may opt for the so-called "filth prophylactic" clip-on iterations. Before you do so, however, it's important to know how to mount it. If you ride a "fixie"-style bicycle, you're supposed to mount it low, like a beaver's tail, so that it's almost scraping the wheel:

However, if you're a food delivery person, you're supposed to mount it vertically, like the tail of an alert dog:

I have no idea why this is, but them's the rules, and both fixed-gear riders and food delivery people adhere to them religiously:


I can only assume that the vertical fender mount is supposed to impart a "custom" look, like the tailpipe on this car I noticed recently:


Which features a vertical tailpipe:


Anyway, presumably my ignorance concerning the significance of the various bike-cultural "filth prophylactic" mounting angles is, along with my full fenders and upright handlebars and incessant hipster-baiting, yet another indication that I am becoming "old" and "out of it." And if I didn't feel like that when I set out on my commute, I sure did when I saw this guy:

Clearly the former patrons of CBGBs are getting on in years, which means I must be too. In fact, I think that guy might actually have elbowed me in the groin at a Token Entry show once.

Granted, I can't be sure, but I did give him a swift shot to the "pants yabbies" just in case.

Speaking of shots to the "nads," I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you will be transported to a state of ecstasy, and if you're wrong you'll see Canadian nostalgia.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and may your posterior be free from the ravages of moisture.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) Better late than never! Roberto Heras has just won the 2005 Vuelta a Espana.

--True

--False

2) The top tube of this women's road bike, which "ends in a bulbous tapered head tube," is called:

--"The Cobra"

--"The Python"

--"The Night Stick"

--"The Love Bludgeon"

(Should work great with gloves.)

3) This custom titanium commuting bike is called the:

--Stealth UltraCommuter

--FredTanium ÜberHybrid

--Specialized UltraSirrus
--Flat Bar Express

4) Which is not a rider profiled in Streetsblog's "My NYC Biking Story" series?

--A firefighter
--A deputy NYC mayor
--A woman in her 70s
--A freegan mutant bicycle club member and tall bike jousting enthusiast

5) Portland's cargo bike scene is:

--Flourishing

--Smug

--The world's single largest consumer of high-visibility clothing

--All of the above

(Like, where's the "ball" at?)

6) The latest ironic spectator sport in Williamsburg, Brooklyn is:

--Kickball
--Ultimate frisbee

--Hasidic baseball

--Vegan cockfighting

(Like, where's the "party" at?)

7) The latest ironic soirée in Williamsburg is:

--The "pool party"

--The "nacho party"

--The "Bar Mitzvah"

--The "vegan pig roast"

***Special Audible Alert-Themed Bonus Question***

Bells are out; ____________ are in.

--Loudspeakers

--Old-timey bulb horns

--Pots and pans

--Live roosters

Read more »

Modifikasi Sepeda Fixie Kayu

Modifikasi Sepeda Fixie Kayu

The claiming was to architecture and body a 100% board bicycle. “No bolts or screws, aloof copse and glues” were the rules of engagement. This appropriate demography a alongside attending to affected the abounding challenges in bearing a rideable board bike. Obvious problems like the alternation accept been tackled by abutting the ability from the pedals to the rear caster by the simple accession of a accessory cog (pliCog). This about took abounding hours to architecture and prototype. The SplinterBike activity came about afterwards a accidental £1 bet angry serious. Inspiration came from abounding areas but the best cogent was the access of the carbon-fibre Lotus 108 time balloon bike advised by adolescent Norfolk artist Mike Burrows and fabricated by the Norfolk based Lotus car manufacturer. Aloof because the things about us are as they are, doesn’t beggarly they accept to break that way. Alternatives can be advised for aggregate we use day to day and booty for granted. We don’t accept to reinvent the caster but it’s absorbing to try. The SplinterBike affected me to apply timbers ahead bare in my branch such as Lignum Vitae, a artlessly cocky lubricating hardwood, which is included for bushings and bearings to minimise abrasion area one basic turns in an opposing administration to another. Abounding years of woodworking acquaintance has enabled me to accomplish a bet with a acquaintance and end up developing article that will ultimately set a acreage acceleration almanac for board bicycles. It’s a attestation to the versatility and backbone of one of mankind’s oldest accessible materials... and of course, avant-garde cement technology. The SplinterBike took about 1000 hours to architecture and assemble in a rammed apple garden shed. Norfolk, England.

Read more »